"Okay gang, gather 'round."
"Alright so, forecast came in and we're looking at, uh..."
The manager squinted slightly as he looked at his notes.
"A weakening of the dimensional walls that surround our plane of existence allowing for an influx of sinister and malevolent forces and activity."
Everyone groaned.
"I know, I know," the manager continued "but we've all been through this before so let's just get it done and nip any problems in the bud."
"Now, first things first, we have to dismantle and secure all the mannequins because they WILL come to life and they WILL be belligerent.
They'll stay still and then when you're not looking they'll move and when you look again they're in a different place and it's just the worst."
"Leslie wasn't evil!" said Russell, with several other employees nodding
"Look, we've been over this," said the manger, "everybody loved Leslie.
It was beautiful to help them learn what it meant to be alive and to feel and to know why we love and cry.
But Leslie was born because they were the light of hope that sacrificed themself to save us all from dark forces."
"Because June rejected the call..." Mark muttered
"If I'd have accepted it, Leslie wouldn't have been born anyway and I'd be dead, asshole." June snapped
"Okay okay. Settle down, please." The manager sighed "We need to cover the TV screens to prevent the displaying of Eldritch broadcasts,
and the radios need to be moved to storage to minimize exposure to alien frequencies.
Please don't forget to disconnect the camcorder display station, we don't want our reflections crawling out of the screen into our world again.
That's how we ended up with a second Darren and a mountain of paperwork."
The Darren's looked at each other and nodded.
"If you encounter an imp or some such creature hiding in one of the coat racks, put out a warning sign and walk away.
Do NOT accept any deals they make. I can't stress that enough. The same applies to anything under one of the show beds."
"Power tools should have their batteries removed and anything with gas should be emptied. We don't want another lawnmower zooming about."
"If Malkusnaught the Bloodfiend comes in, just ask him if he needs help finding anything and help him if he says yes.
He's pretty nice and generally knows what he wants."
"What about the bathrooms?" asked Autumn
"Generally speaking, maybe try avoiding it. If you must use it then don't answer any voices,
try not to look at the mirror for very long, and avoid the air dryer in case it tries to suck your hands in."
"I think that just about covers the big stuff. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask me.
Now let's get out there and sell some khakis and appliances."